Only Just Bearable
by Extraho
Summary: It's been 17 years since the shooting, and Bobbys wife want to know why he has 'jack' tattooed above his heart, who the hell is he? - its not like anyone will tell her. Jack/Bobby, mentioned mpreg. 'M'for Part 2, 1 and 3 is pretty mellow, if a bit angsty
1. Chapter 1

"Are you going to tell me about it

"Are you going to tell me about it?" Angela asked.

Angela and Bobby had been married for twelve years and together for fifteen, but he had never told her about the Tattoo on his chest. 'Jack' was inked beautifully in cursive above his heart.

He could tell it was killing her that another – a _man -_ had permanently marked him as his. She had seen the same tattoo on Angel's back, and on Jerry's arm, but every time she asked they faces would go stony and they would change the subject and walk away. When she asked Camille, she would just smile and say "It's nothing dearie?"

Sofi would burst into tears, and the girls, Amelia and her sister would just shake their heads and hide their faces, but what truly killed her was having to listen to Bobby getting up from bed at night, several times a week. She would find him on the roof outside one of the guestrooms. He had demanded that they bought a house with a spot like that when they were looking for a one. That was okay, what was not okay was that he was crying. Bobby Mercer never cried. Ever.

When Angel and Sofi lost their daughter, he didn't cry. Not even a twitch of his lips. Angel told her he didn't expect Bobby to cry. He didn't want Bobby to cry, because if Bobby cried, who would keep them together? Bobby mourned for the little girl, but he didn't cry.

Sofi said "They lost so much already. If Bobby is not strong, who will be?"

"When the kids are in bed." He answered her

The were Angela's kids, not Bobby's. She had cried to Camille after she and Bobby had fought. He didn't want any children. He didn't tell her why. Camille held her and soothed her, she understood her pain. "Bobby has his reasons darling. When he's ready to tell, he will, but I warm you, it might be never."

Bobby was leaning against the railing of the terrace when he started to speak.

"Jack…"

That was how he started. He spoke for hours, but Angela hung on to his every word. His brother, his lover, his everything. How Jack came to the Mercers and immediately became his shadow, how they fell in love as the years passed, how their mother was murdered…how Jackie was shot five times while he was screaming for Bobby. Not "come help me" just "Bobby." His last dying words.

Every detail told in splendid glory. His smile, his laugh, the quiet harmonies flowing from his fingertips, his sea green eyes and the messy blonde hair. The mischievous grin on his face when he stole a kiss. The terror and fear in his voice when he was ripped apart by bullets.

The cold fury in which Bobby had killed the shooters. How he wished every day that he had made Victor Sweet suffer instead of just beating his head in.

How the loss of his lover and their unborn son nearly killed him, how he nearly killed himself. How he desperately tried to when the hospital made a mistake and cremated his body, so Bobby could never see his love again.

What he didn't tell her was the memories of feeling Jack's silky skin underneath his hands, or his body tightening and rippling around him as he came. How Jack had trouble sleeping without him and would sneak into his bed, even long before they became a couple. How Bobby could not sleep peacefully without him.

Angela was crying freely when Bobby finally ceased to speak. He too had cried when he spoke of Jack's last moments, but they were dry now and she could not see pink streaks down his cheeks.

"I'm so so-"

"Don't you dare say you're sorry. You didn't know him, and I'm not sorry for the pain I feel, because it's all I have left." Besides Jack's guitars and some of his things, but they were just things. His clothes didn't carry his scent anymore.

The doorbell rang and Angela got up from the terrace floor to answer the door. Tearing up the door, drying her eyes furiously what she saw was sea green eyes and messy blonde hair.

"Hi, is this where Bobby Mercer lives?"


	2. Chapter 2

Only Just Bearable, Part II

Only Just Bearable, Part II

"Who is it?" Bobby asked as he walked into the hallway. He stopped short and stared at the boy in the door.

"Hi." He said timidly and shifted from foot to foot.

"J-jack?" Bobby stuttered.

"Eh, no, I'm Domino Mercer, are you Bobby?"

"Yeah, geez, c'mon in." bobby shook his head to clear it from the sudden flashback of kisses and warm whispered words.

"Thanks. Actually, I came here because of my dad, one of them anyway." He said and stubbed his foot on the floor.

"Is this a sitting down kind of talk?" Angela asked.

"I think so." The boy said shyly.

"I'll make some hot chocolate for you. You seem cold." She said and nearly ran off.

"C'mon, let's go to the living room." Bobby said.

They sat down and Domino started talking. "My dad was shot, five times when he was pregnant with me –"

Angela stopped in the doorway, holding two cups, and just listened.

" – he died for a few minutes, butt they brought him back to life. Anyway, the whole fuck-up started when they cremated the bodies of the shooters, because dad was on the list, but since I'm here, he obviously wasn't burned." He said nervously.

"Are you telling me that Jackie is still alive?" Bobby said.

The boy nodded. "He had lost his memory, and only had glimpses of his early life. Recently, he started to remember parts of the later years as well. More specifically you."

Bobby was shocked to silence. "b-but that would mean that you are our…"

"Son…yeah." He picked on his jeans before he spoke again. "I spent the fist few years of my life in foster care, until Papa was able to take care of me himself. Rehab, job…those sort of things."

"Why didn't he come to me when he remembered?"

"He was scared. So much time had passed and he thought you had gotten over it. He didn't want to mess thing up…"

Bobby shook his head and sat down on his knees in from of the teen. "I never got over it. Hell, I just spent the past two hours fucking crying…" he half chuckled, half sobbed.

"but you married…"

"It's not the same. Angela is everything I could ask for –"

"But I'm not Jack." Angela said from the door. "Go get him Bobby. Turn on that Michigan Mauler charm again and rock his world." She said and tossed him the keys to his car.

"Angie –"

"No, Bobby, don't. I knew I was the second choice when we married, but I could live with that. You lost the love of your life…now you have a chance of getting him back. I'll never forgive myself if I don't give you the chance. I'll be here when you get back, and we'll decide where we go from there, okay?"

"What did I do to deserve you?"

"You gave me fifteen years of your love, it's more than I could ask for. Go, it's the least I can do."

Bobby nodded and motioned for Domino to follow him. When Angela closed the door she sank top the floor crying, but knowing she had done the right thing.

…………………………………………………………………………

They were standing outside the door of the apartment that Jack and Domino lived in. It had been a seven-hour drive and it was already daylight outside. They had taken a two-hour stop because Bobby would never be able to forgive himself if he crashed the car with his son in it. His and Jack's son. God, it was unbelievable.

"You ready?" Domino asked.

"As I'll ever be." Bobby replied and wetted his lips nervously.

Domino nodded and opened the door. "Papa? I'm home!"

"Domino! For fuck's sake where have you been? I've been so worried and called all of your friends, I –" Jack halted in his tirade as he saw Bobby standing behind his son.

Bobby could not tear his eyes off of Jack. He still looked the same, though not as delicate as he had looked as a nineteen year old. Even his hair was the same messy crow's nest it had been all of his life. He had a new tattoo above his heart, right underneath his own name. Domino.

Domino glanced nervously between his parents and immediately knew that there was going to be awkwardness, tears, yelling and sex, not necessarily in that order. "Right, I'll just go to Allison down the hall and I'll call everyone and tell them I'm okay – bye." He said and bolted from the room.

Jack fidgeted as he stood bare chested in front of Bobby, who looked angry.

"How in the fucking name of God did you ever think I could get over you?" he asked tonelessly.

Tears filled Jack's eyes as he shook his head "You were married by the time I remembered you…"

"When?"

"Just last year."

Bobby walked slowly towards him. Timidly he touched his face lightly. His fingertips caressing his cheeks, neck and entire upper body. "You're real. You're really here."

The tears slipped from Jack's eyes and he walked straight into Bobby's arms, hugging him tightly.

"I messed you so much. Even before I could remember, I could feel that something was missing."

Bobby kissed the soft skin of Jack's neck, but Jack squirmed away. "Your wife –"

"She knows. She practically chased me to the car to find you when Domino turned up."

"She knows?"

"Yeah."

"Is she okay with it?"

"It's hard for her, but she want me to be happy, and I want her to be happy too, and she won't be with me."

Jack smiled that million-watt smile he reserved just for Bobby and kissed him soundly. They crashed into the wall and slid to the floor in a heap on tangle limbs. Their clothes disappeared in a flash and they were on each other once more. Neither noticed Domino running into the room, his hand shielding the traumatizing sight of his parents in sexual activity, and snatched his mobile off the counter and ran back out.

"Bobby…" Jack whined between the small spurs of pure pleasure flying through his system. "I'm going to loose my mind if you don't hurry!"

"Can't have that, can we" Bobby smiled warmly at the younger man. Jack felt his teeth nipping at his nipples and his nails were gently scarping the thigh resting on his hip.

Bobby smirked as he gazed his fingers over his hips.

"God you're sexy?" Bobby breathed. Jack blushed dolly-pink at Bobby' words. Bobby gazed Jack' skin with his nose as he breathed in his scent, memorizing it again. Jack tensed and his breath hitched.

"Please.. I.."

"Patience love."

He brought his fingers up to Jackies mouth and moaned as he licked them. He rubbed around the small hole before he inserted the digit in the warm tightness. His tongue circled his slit while his fingers wiggled and stretched him. Jack clamped his legs around his shoulders and moaned loudly.

Bobby could not wait any longer. Had to have him. A rumbling growl had emitted from deep inside his chest as he laid himself between Jack' thighs and teased his entrance with the head of his cock while his tongue traced his lips, both asking for an approval. Jack pushed his hips against him. His teasing was driving Jack mad. He grabbed his neck and pulled him down for a searing kiss. The touch sent fire through them both.

Bobby settled his weight on top of his long lost lover and thrust in slowly. Jack mewled and twisted beneath him. He grabbed a hold of the carpet they were on, and in an act of desperate need he crossed his legs behind his back and forced him down and sheltered him deep inside him.

It hurt, he hadn't had anyone in him since their last time, but the way he stretched him felt so good. It always felt good. In that moment he realised once again that he would always belong to Bobby. He was being claimed for keeping, again, and Jack accepted heartily, again.

When Bobby pulled out he could see Jack' eyes. He gasped, both in intense pleasure and surprise. With a fierce and husky growl he pushed himself back in. He lashed onto his neck and bit down gently, his sharp teeth drawing a bit of blood. He thrust into his again to the hilt, much harder this time.

"AAhhh Bobby please…oh" he clenched tightly around him.

"Gods, Jackie, I…ahhh" Bobby nearly collapsed on top of him by the sensations he brought forth in him. It took all his self-control to pull back when he was at the edge of coming. When he was no longer as close he hammered himself back into him, going deeper than he had before. Jack was meeting him thrust for thrust and just a few seconds later.

Jack screamed in his ecstasy and hadn't Bobby caught his lips just then, the neighbours would have come running. While Jack was slowly coming out of his daze Bobby sat up on his knees and rested against the back of the couch. He pulled a still quacking Jack up to him and impaled him again. It had been so long that he was still hard. Jack gasped as the hard organ slid into him, caressing and rubbing his sore walls. He clung to his lover; his legs around his waist and his arms holding tightly. Bobby was holding his tightly around his waist and pushed him further down onto him. Jack bit down hard on his collarbone. Bobby gasped and held him tighter as he came deep in his love.

Bobby was content once more. It was one of those feelings only Jack could give him. Jack was all his and no one else could touch him. The small blond was still in his lap, and Bobby was still inside him. He laid his head on Bobby chest and was almost falling asleep when he felt himself being held tighter and carried to bed.

Bobby tucked them both into the soft bed that was obviously Jack's as the other bedroom was full of Motorhead and Nena posters. Bobby pulled the sleeping Jack to lie with his back against his chest and his head on his arm while the other was wrapped tightly around his slender waist. When Jack wiggled further into his chest Bobby slipped his thigh between his legs, letting the muscles in his hips relax properly. Jack was going to be very sore in the morning, the least he could do was making him comfortable. When Jack entwined their legs further, Bobby smiled to himself and kissed him behind his ear.

They still fit together. It was like they had never been apart.

…………………………………………………………………………


	3. Chapter 3

Only Just Bearable Part III

Only Just Bearable Part III

…………………………………………………………………………

A few days later Angela and Bobby was sitting by the kitchen table. Bobby had just arrived.

"I talked to my uncle." He was a divorce lawyer . "And I told him everything. He fixed the papers for our divorce. It's instant. No waiting. We bother keep whatever we had when we married and what we earned during. Me and the girls will be moving back to LA."

Bobby felt a bit bad, even though he knew that Angela had more than enough money saved to make it without work for a while. "You don't have to leave right away. Make sure everything is ready so you can move right in and get settled without any trouble."

"Nah." She shook her head. "It'll only make leaving harder." She busied herself with whipping off the counter. "I already shipped my things down there." She had put most of her things into storage as little of it was needed. Bobby didn't have all that much stuff and quite a bit came with the house.

He nodded. "Okay."

"Bobby… please tell me you're happy."

Bobby smiled, his eyes watering. "Yes, I'm happy."

"How happy?"

"I feel like I'm going to burst."

She nodded and ran over to hug him. Bobby caught her small form easily and hugged her tightly.

"So, you going to marry him?'

"Yeah."

"Got a ring."

"Had one for eighteen years." He chuckled. "I hope it still fits."

"Can…" she took a deep breath. "Can I meet him?"

Bobby pulled away and studied her face. "You really want to?"

……………………………………………………………………………..

"Bobby! Why the fuck did you call us all here?" Angel snapped over the buzz of chatter in the room.

"Shut up jarhead!" Bobby called from the kitchen.

Everyone grew silent in astonishment. Ever since Jack died, Bobby had become subdued and distant. He never argued with them, or engaged in the playful banter. He just made the decision and that was that. To hear the old familiar nickname fall from their big brother's lips like it hadn't been almost twenty years, was wonderful.

"I have an announcement and a few introductions of some old and a new facees."

"And we couldn't do this later?" Sofi asked. She was late for work. The only reason the were all there was that if Bobby asked for something, which he did every five years or so, they turned up. No questions. They just did.

"No. First of all, Angela and I got a divorce a few days ago. She moved back to LA." he silenced them before they even got to open their mouths. "The second –" a messy blonde head of hair and familiar sea green eyes stuck his head through the door. "-this is my son, Domino."

"Dude! He looks just like –"

"And third and last; the hospital cocked up big time…Jack…is still alive."

The silence was deafening. "You got to be fucking joking! How long have you known?"

"Just a few days."

"Are you – I mean. Are you sure?" Jerry asked.

"I'm pretty sure Jeremiah." Jack's definitely matured voice came from the kitchen door. "I feel pretty alive."

"He got amnesia. That's why he didn't find us. He just recently started remembering us…and then Domino found me." Bobby said, his voice rough.

Jerry just shook his head in disbelief at the sight before him and jumped over the couch to embrace his baby brother. "Welcome home baby boy." The words ripped the rest of the family out of their shock and ran to hug Jack to welcome him back, and wrapped Domino up in their arms and welcomed him home for the first time. Jack didn't want to ruin the moment by letting them know that he only knew who they were because Bobby had showed his photos, and not because he remembered them.

Bobby and Jack locked eyes over the crowd of adults and children.

"Marry me." Bobby mouthed. He knew he wasn't going to be heard over the loud chatter and woops of joy.

Jack smiled and nodded. He wiggled out of the group hug and nuzzled into Bobby's embrace.

Sofi cheered when they kissed and the kids made faces.

"So what's happening with the two of you now?" Angel asked.

"Well, we're getting married for one." Jack said with a shy grin and a blush spread across his cheeks and nose. That was their Jackie; still so innocent after having been through so much. "Then, maybe we'll try for one more. Domino needs siblings."

Epilogue

Jacklay on his side in bed, damp bed sheets tossed aside a long time ago. His breath was heavy and his body slicked with sweat. His heart thudding in his chest..

Bobby was his first and only true love, and now they were married. If it weren't for his burning lungs he'd laugh and cheer in joy.

He felt a warm and strong arm slip around his waist and pull him backwards into an even warmer embrace.

"Sweetheart…" was whispered in his ear and a gust of hit breath caressed his neck. A hand slipped down lower and rubbed the slight swell of his tummy. Their child, and there was no bullets to tear them apart this time.


End file.
